ANDREW CHILD
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"We were fortunate not to have had the traditional training in the craft:
it is no easy task to throw useless conventions overboard."

ANNI ALBERS, Bauhaus Weaver (1959)

A Generic Cover Letter:

Dear theatre,

That's a great question. Why do I specifically want to work with you? Frankly, I'm tired of mining your websites to spew back at you your mission statement about how you "prioritize putting stories on stage" and are "fostering an empathetic community". In truth, I really don't know what either of those phrases mean. In truth, I don't necessarily think you do either. I see the word 'connection'. Intimate. Diverse. Inclusive. I see verbs; challenge, educate, inspire, engage. "From classics to new works". I see this on every website, but struggle to find any noteworthy responses to these prompts in American theatre. I wonder how your mission statement's goals of "generating conversations" and "uplifting marginalized voices" are prepared to shift and evolve should the systems of our society improve. Without that evolution, is your company necessary in a post-revolutionary world? If not, doesn't it follow that you and your organization benefit by countering revolution? To profess a desire to generate conversations seems to preclude you from engaging, growing, and responding. It also, at least, suggests two harmful singularities about your audience. The first is a reductive homogeneity. How can you claim to challenge the status quo if your mission statement, the purported core of your priorities, upholds it? The second is an insinuated inferiority. Are we satisfied to reduce theatre to a purely instructional art?
I struggle to see what sets you apart and why I should want to specifically work with you.
But here's why I think you should want to work with me.
I do not make work for crowds in airports. I have not been in enough airports in my life to understand them fully. I make work for crowds in train stations and bus terminals. I have been in plenty of those. I've spent enough time in courts to know that the people on our side of the bar in sweat pants are almost certainly better people than the crowd on the other side who are wrinkling their suits as they slouch, skimming through crack'd.com on their phones. Even if they aren't better people, they are certainly better audience members (which is almost like being a better person.) I've spent enough time in support groups and religious spaces to know that anyone truly committed to storytelling or community at its roots would do better to sit in there than in any American theatre.
I don't always like theatre artists. If we go into a bookstore and you are drawn immediately to the shelves of scripts, we probably will not get along. We will go into rehearsals and you will say things like "table work" and "super-objective" and "scansion", causing me to say things like "get me outta here!" and "gotta go!" (in my head, of course). I like to work with people who go to the magazines or the big coffee table books with photos in them first. This seems to be the most sensible way to get the most out of a bookstore without buying anything.
I like working with theatre artists who take smoke breaks. Not in a Kurt Vonnegut way. And I don't smoke. And I don't really think it's glamorous. But some of those people are very smart and I think it has a lot to do with the smoke breaks.
A quick fix for theatre artists: when someone asks how it went, check in with yourself. If your impulse is to immediately respond with a statement about ticket sales, adjust. If I wanted to know about ticket sales I'd ask the box office manager. Try again. How did it go?
A trickier fix for (some) theatre artists: I'm here thanks to a VHS of Cats and a whole slew of murder mysteries and musical revues in the basements of churches and rented VFW halls. If you are too good for community theatre and commercial national tours of mega-musicals, examine why. I bet it has a lot to do with a belief that some people have earned theatre and some have not.
I usually get along with theatre artists who stand behind these minor fixes.
One time I directed a show and a little boy in the audience hurled his stuffed animal at the villain in rage. I think we should arm audiences at the door with soft things they can throw at villains in rage.
One time I directed a ten minute play and it had a couch in it. I don't really like ten minute plays (I don't think anyone really does) and I don't like plays with couches in them (unfortunately lots of people seem to like those plays).
I hope my experiences along with my potential for growth will qualify me for this position. Thank you in advance for your consideration. I look forward to hearing back from you!
Sincerely,
​Andrew Child

Praise for Andrew's work! (from angry people):

"Good grief. Who are these people who have no real experience or knowledge of issues yet still feel the urge to tell others how to live or think? And how do they get published?"
--- Playwright and Artistic Director via Facebook

"Just (doesn't) know how to read a play."
--- Playwright and Screenwriter via Nationally Syndicated Radio Show

"
I can't imagine (he) would enjoy talking to me."
--- Acclaimed Magician and Comedian via Twitter

"The very definition of fake news. People say he is arrogant and tough to work with."
--- Theatre Executive Director and CEO of Arts Non-Profit via Facebook

A Quick Background:

Andrew Child is a director, designer, choreographer, and actor based in Boston who has an affinity for clowns, puppets, Shakespeare, new works, multi-media creations, and community engagement. Andrew has had the privilege of working in various capacities with several theatre groups and educational institutions including The American Repertory Theatre, Actors' Shakespeare Project, Villa la Pietra (Florence), Lyric Stage Co, New England Conservatory, Moonbox Productions, Boston Modern Orchestra Project, Liars & Believers (in association with The Oberon), Priscilla Beach Theater, Bay Colony Shakespeare Company, Massasoit Community College, and The Family Performing Arts Center at Bridgewater State University. Because of his work as artist and advocate, he has spoken at Emerson College and been quoted in The New York Times, Chicago Tribune, LA Times, Boston Globe, WBUR’s The ARTery, and Howlround Theater Commons, as well as been publicly criticized by Breitbart and acclaimed magician/ comedian Penn Jillette. ​​
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His original one act play, On the Isle of the Lotus-Eaters, was workshopped as part of the VSA Young Playwright Discovery Festival at the Kennedy Center in Washington, DC, launching his passion for theatre accessibility advocacy. While serving as artistic director for Artists from Suburbia, a theatrical initiative on Massachusetts' South Shore, he oversaw accessibility measures including open captioning and sensory-friendly matinees for many of the productions. AfS' goal was to structure itself in such a way that traditional theatrical boundaries including class, ability, race, and access to training could be challenged in regards to both audience and artistic involvement. Andrew's work as artistic director earned him an invitation to speak about diversity in theatre at Emerson College. Additionally, he coordinated and designed open captioning for several departmental productions at Brandeis University while studying for his BA in Theater Arts. His thesis project delved into the study of incorporating accessibility measures (especially in regards to ability) into theatrical presentations from the initial point of creation, as opposed to tacking accommodations onto a production once it has been completed. 
Andrew worked with Bridgewater State University’s Arts for Youth Program for seven years, teaching classes and workshops in drama, musical theatre, puppetry, and soft shoe, as well as directing, choreographing, and adapting children's productions and musical revues. He has additionally taught courses and collaborated on dramatic teaching projects for the Massachusetts Educational Theatre Guild, Umbrella Community Arts Center, Cardinal Spellman High School, and the Brockton Public Schools. He has been honored to be nominated for four Broadway World Boston Awards for Best Direction  (The Witches, A Little Princess, The Taming of the Shrew, Romeo & Juliet), and an EMACT/ DASH Award (Best Sound Design; The Witches), along with having his work nominated for performance at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. He has a passion for implementing and integrating accessibility measures into the processes of his works and actively seeks ways to engage with new audiences.
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